Two years of Missing In Action - 2017 & 2018 (Part 2)

2017 & 2018 (Part 2)


Let talks about life. Once we aware about the ADHD, we starts to looks things from a different perspective.  Personally I feel grateful after the diagnose as I start to understand you better than before. Most importantly, now I know that helps in on the way.  It can be fixed and we can help you. In the mean time I also start to educate myself on how to understand and shape you into a normal child. May Allah guide me and guide your father to be a better parents to you Dik.
   
In my observation, life treat you fairly both in 2017 and 2018. I believe you were happy. Sometimes you hates your school day but in general, you cope quite well at school.  Sometimes you hate your routine and throw tantrums but you apologized afterwards. You are not prefect Dik but who are?  Even normal children are also struggle to be normal, so it is OK for you to struggle to be normal too.  It is a process and one day you will turn around and smile over it.  One day ADHD will just be your past.

Social skill is one of the main ADHD symptoms.  You had some problem in making new friends especially with children at your age.  Many times you were sad as sometimes your friends called you with bad nicknames or you were scolded by friends in your class. Sometimes you were crying telling me your friends hates you.  Yes, I felt very sad about it but I keep on convince you that things are getting better very soon.  Sometimes I was choked back tears when I told you that  you will be fine and you will have more friends in future.

Aside from those hiccups, you are always a happy go lucky person.  You definitely are excellent with adults and loves by many. Many of your classmates parents adore you; you're always described as sweet and helpful child. So, it is a win win situation Dik.

Whenever I went for Parents and Teacher sessions, I heard many positives words like you are very helpful student. You are also described as a approachable, hugger, smiles ready and gentleman. The not so positive things?  Lack of focused in class, talkative, playful & didn't finished given task  :).  It is OK Dik, we will tackle it one day.  I am positive about it

Ok, it is not fair to discuss your problem without discussing ours towards you. As you aware, I have lots of weakness.  I stills have to learn and improve lots of things. Learn about how to be a better mom is one of them. Things before the diagnosis is worse than the after.  I struggled to understand your behavior.  Most of the time I blame myself for not having a parental experience and lack of patience.  Usually I struggle during your morning shower time (and evening too) and whenever I had customers to attend but you keep interrupting for simple attentions. Looking back now, I feel so guilty as it didn't across my mind that you need helps.  I feel guilty that sometimes I was too busy working than to spend more time with you and try to understand you better.

After the diagnosis, I felt clearer and start to understand you better.  The doctors gave us some guides on how to help you.  Yes, some starts to works but some shall take years to see the results of it.  One of your doctors even go to extra miles to teach me everything that she knows about parenting.  I will always remember her words; to be patience with you as raising even a normal child is not easy, let alone special child like you.

The doctors also enrolled you to almost monthly therapy sessions schedule and as for today, you were enrolled to the Focus Therapy class and we have been promised to get you into social therapy group in future.  I feel positive about this but I can't do this alone .  I need you and your courage to change things

We will discussed this again in future but as for now, I should sign out.  Love you so much Dik.  I will try not to forget to tell you how much I love you on daily basis.  But if I do, please forgive me and please remember I do love you more than I love myself and others.


On the side note, less than a week ago (30th Jan 2019), you lost one of your close friend from school who passed away due to liver cancer.  You were so affected by the losses and you told me you cried when you heard the news at school.  I went to his funeral on your behalf and could see that he was loved by many.  You requested to visit his cemetery so I drove you to there after your school session. I could feel your sadness Dik.  Good friendship will stay in your hearts until you die. May Gavin will rest in peace. Amin

On the other side note, today (4th Feb 2019) is again a sad day for both of us.  We lost one of our cat, Belang due to some existing health issue.  She was loved by both of us and she will definitely be missed.